"When it comes to driving passion,
I'm usually riding the brakes."
Somewhere between being Te and being Tao, I find a way to be disrupted, to stumble before the first step is taken, to second guess the act before acting is even considered. "I seek to cut free the implement of cutting free;" I think I am so close to no longer inhibiting pure and perfect consciousness that I cannot discern myself from my shadow or reflection, I am dazzled by my perception of their separateness and my inability to perceive the beginning or end of either - and I refuse to simply let go, to accept what I know but fail to see: that one is the other, that neither precedes or follows the other, and that I am inextricably neither, either, and both.
FormerlyKnownAsLemmingOfLove
you am
About you.
- i am you are me
- Names, like appearances, are naught more than labels.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Friday, June 1, 2012
you Am
gramatically incorrect?
this
transcends and is the foundation of of,
of linguistic limitations,
of boundaries.
awareness, Being
being not;
consciousness is that traversed
by being becoming being not and not being becoming being
of becoming
of becoming not
of not becoming
being aware of Being.
is is
is is is
being is being
being is being being
being being is being
being not is being
being is being not not being.
This Is
this
transcends and is
this
transcends and is the foundation
of of
of is
of this
this
transcends and is the foundation of of,
of linguistic limitations,
of boundaries.
awareness, Being
being not;
consciousness is that traversed
by being becoming being not and not being becoming being
of becoming
of becoming not
of not becoming
being aware of Being.
is is
is is is
being is being
being is being being
being being is being
being not is being
being is being not not being.
This Is
this
transcends and is
this
transcends and is the foundation
of of
of is
of this
Friday, February 10, 2012
it happened
I held Kay's Boxer puppy - or her limp, expired shell - in my arms, feeling more than tasting the saliva between my lips, fluid which had transferred there from her dead muzzle as I tried to breathe and massage life into her still-warm body (was it warmth of sunlight, or of her now ebbed life?). I paused for a second to wonder whether I'd think I was a bastard if I'd noticed myself caring, rather than not, about the soiling of my pleated trousers onto which feces had transferred from her now non-governed bowels.
I returned to my hotel directly after leaving the tragic scene of the dead puppy and her owner mourning her in the cluttered yard of her awful, pitiful trailer.
I still wonder, at times (like these last few minutes), what led each of them to that life of theirs. What were Kay's specific reasons for abusing herself with her lifestyle and heavy use of heavy drugs (when she could afford them)? What lay in her past? What lacked her present? Things just are as they are, but each thing is the result of many - and, as a humanimal, I am adept at seeing them as such, as results with somewhat traceable roots. Like the puppy; she asphyxiated on her cheap, plastic-cased braided steel cord tether; life left her form due to a lack of oxygen, due to her being unattended due to my well-intended carting of Kay around for errands in my rental car. There was the revelation of the plight of the trailer, then the grocery shopping, then the shopping for booze, then the refusal of the offer for sex in exchange for the favor, then the ranging about for drugs that were never acquired (or revealed as being the item sought, only rather inferred), and then the return to the hovel and the still little corpse... and the attempt at resuscitation, as though pulling her life back into this world would redeem some as of yet unidentified cause for sadness deep within me.
I returned to my hotel directly after leaving the tragic scene of the dead puppy and her owner mourning her in the cluttered yard of her awful, pitiful trailer.
I still wonder, at times (like these last few minutes), what led each of them to that life of theirs. What were Kay's specific reasons for abusing herself with her lifestyle and heavy use of heavy drugs (when she could afford them)? What lay in her past? What lacked her present? Things just are as they are, but each thing is the result of many - and, as a humanimal, I am adept at seeing them as such, as results with somewhat traceable roots. Like the puppy; she asphyxiated on her cheap, plastic-cased braided steel cord tether; life left her form due to a lack of oxygen, due to her being unattended due to my well-intended carting of Kay around for errands in my rental car. There was the revelation of the plight of the trailer, then the grocery shopping, then the shopping for booze, then the refusal of the offer for sex in exchange for the favor, then the ranging about for drugs that were never acquired (or revealed as being the item sought, only rather inferred), and then the return to the hovel and the still little corpse... and the attempt at resuscitation, as though pulling her life back into this world would redeem some as of yet unidentified cause for sadness deep within me.
Monday, December 26, 2011
cigarette in the rain, duh
everything but
what i struggled to see
as i struggled to see everything else
the rain pours down
drowning out the butt,
i expect,
but the butt i see
despite its having
been there
for how long, now?
these droplets, pouring
down, so many
so heavy
the butt is lit and glowing
amidst a torrent of
droplets; a heavy rain
and only in peripheral
does it appear,
can't be sought out directly.
makes no sense,
sense not sought;
crazy it should survive.
stupid.
order has been found.
if only i could capture
the capturing -
absent the chronicle of the attempts
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