Your honesty is certainly the most appealing aspect of your post; it affects everything, rendering it so mischievously attractive. I'll borrow some words and describe myself, "I'd never cheat, I'm just... a little stubborn... I'm extremely independant and needy all at the same time... I'm a lot of fun and can be taken almost anywhere... I love a good whiskey." I am a recovering sarcastic son of a bitch; I've convinced myself that I am "past all of that" and am seeking some other habit to pick up to enrich my life and rid me of this dullness that's been here since. I'm seeking a more zen-oriented lifestyle; I'm not sure exactly what "Zen" means, but I think it means a balanced awareness of existence and purpose, and a constant awareness of a well of peace within the moment that we exist within. You'd be just the one to sabotage those efforts. I won't go on, other than to add why it is that I'm not going on - a couple of major potential-reducing (I think they call them "deal-breakers," though I would prefer that verb be replaced with "postponers" or "alterers") facts amongst the following:
I'm twenty-six years old (or will be as of the 28th of this month).
I am a divorced* father of two girls, ages two point five and four point five. <--(that's some of my sarcastic humor bleeding over there [the numbers, not the asterisk]) I am always, always honest. I would rather be injured than lied to. I'm a dreamer, and am just recently (maybe) becoming an achiever - not that I've been a loaf; I've just not accomplished anything near that something I know myself to be capable of. My thoughts frequently turn towards the "philosophical" and "deep." I will not be back in the Tacoma area until later this year, if at all. I am back in the city that I call home, #########, Louisiana, with my two daughters. My mind never stops running. I tend to overwhelm people upon meeting them. I see, very frequently (though I've only been looking at them for the last three days) in W4M Craigslist ads, the poster claiming that she is "very shy at first," then warms up later. I'm the opposite; people know who I am within five minutes of meeting me. Not that I'm not dynamic... I never stop changing, as far as I can tell, but the core of me remains the same. Psychedelic onion has a nice ring to it. Haha... I didn't intend that pun. Not often I have myself laughing out loud at something that I say (or anything at all), but that sort of humor is just my type; I'm a corny s.o.b. Yes, I have re-read what I've typed, and I've decided to leave it. Sure, I scared off the one responder to my first and only Craigslist M4W (I call these ads by a name that I didn't even know the meaning of last week) by hurling such a lengthy and me-like response at her... I'm overwhelmingly forthcoming. I'm quite verbose. Though this spills over to my conversational habits as well, I am aware of it and do my best to share, and to be a bearable windbag. Love is the greatest thing ever; I think everything is made from it - but it'd take a long time to explain the physics of it. Being aware of the existence of happiness is all that I need to feel happiness. I'm probably bi-polar, and have many traits attributed to a schizophrenic personality type. There. That's about the worst I can do. In the eighth grade or so, I discovered "Be" to be the shortest sentence, sharing the title with "Go," or any other two letter verb - the subject would be implied; "you," that rascal. I can't believe I'm not going to delete any of this crap. It's the only way to go. Leaping. Not looking. Every Wednesday night is two dollar Crown night at the ##### ####### here in #########. I spent my Wednesday nights there until I re-obtained my daughters during Christmas time. I'm sorry for this if you take it some way other than how I wrote it, just sincere and bare. I hope you get it, and me (a little). I'm not procrastinating, just entertaining doubts that I know I'll act in spite of, anyway. Oops. They're gaining, so I'm just going to send it, now. Whatever-the-Hell-I-Should-Put-Here,
Edward
p.s. I just began re-reading this, as I think I always do before sending any typed message, and the beginning was so cool that I decided to send it without fully re-reading it. It's awesome on its own, regardless of the result. I think it's awesome because there was no pretense there; I wasn't going for anything but me, and it wound up being something that I like. So, thank you.
p.p.s. Sometimes, I get very high on life; I mean it.
p.p.p.s. It's in the action, not result.
I'm an idiot.
p.s. I just began re-reading this, as I think I always do before sending any typed message, and the beginning was so cool that I decided to send it without fully re-reading it. It's awesome on its own, regardless of the result. I think it's awesome because there was no pretense there; I wasn't going for anything but me, and it wound up being something that I like. So, thank you.
p.p.s. Sometimes, I get very high on life; I mean it.
p.p.p.s. It's in the action, not result.
I'm an idiot.
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