Why do I maintain this profile? -- (Facebook Post from 23FEB2009)

A comment on my status note - the question in this post's title:
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Probably some desperate need for personal expression. I'm guessing the profile isn't helping that. How could it? Perhaps you should start writing (Get it? Writing? Man, I'm awesome at enforcing resolutions.) notes instead of making insignificant changes to a profile that no one bothers to acknowledge as meaningful. (I can't say the notes will convey any more importance though.)


My response to the comment:
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I do feel an intense need to foster a more widespread awareness of the nature of my inner workings; I hope such exposure might evoke something more meaningful in the midst of this. I habitually bare myself in text form, and am met with an apparent indifference. I care much about much - little of which corresponds with what I perceive others' cares to be - at least those cares that I witness openly conveyed. I produce some beautiful things; my goal is not to garner praise or recognition - I want others to have the opportunity to enjoy and to appreciate what they see, regardless of its author, and I wish to see others and their work in the same way. I hunger for the result of others' braving sincerity.

I've refrained from writing notes solely because to do so would be an admission to myself that drawing attention to myself is, in fact, what I am attempting to do.

I desire to witness the birth and evolution of a lasting social phenomenon that provokes interaction more meaningful than the daily charade that I observe and take part in. I hope that people would benefit from being able to compare their insides to others'. I don't think that I'm alone in feeling out of place, limited by propriety to mechanical interaction with others. If I'm not alone, I do this also for those who wish as I do. I don't think that all others should feel the same; I just suspect that some do, and that they are silent as well.

I would rather be impacted negatively by this self-exposure than to continue wondering, without acting, whether or not people care. I want to know whether I'm imagining what I perceive, a widespread adherence to a self-creating "norm," and the disregard for much of what I hold dearest.

I'm not possessed of delusions of grandeur, or of a worth greater than that of any other. I don't think people do or should value my opinion over theirs or that of others. I doubt that this note or those that may follow it will have an impact on what it is that I am attempting to change any greater than that of a fly on the windshield of a city bus or the thoughts of the passengers oblivious to the impact - and I don't know whether it should. I do see a depressing lack of something that I would like to see more of, something that requires so little to flourish. I do want to find more of what I sense to be profound. I don't know how else to go about finding it.

I'm an "open book."
Anyone, I'll answer anything.
What's it cost?